hkl medical check-up

Shit happens sometimes.

This week has been my worst nightmare. I can easily blame it on bad luck and all but I know, that it is all because of my own fault. Because of my stupidness and carelessness. Every time I remember that incident, I keep getting angry at myself. How can I be so complacent and forgot what my mom had told me? Alas, what has happened had happened and I only have myself to blame. It is indeed a painful lesson TT___TT...

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On another entirely different note, I am dying to watch Glee Season 2 finale tomorrow on Ch711. I know, it has been about 3 weeks since the finale. I missed it when I went to Taiwan and when I came back, I cannot access the online streaming site anymore. Damn. 

I have so many songs that I enjoy on this show. Recently, I remembered this song performed by The Warblers. I did not even like the original song by Keane that much and suddenly after hearing this on an episode of Glee, I am loving it so much. Yes, the power of Glee.

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Today I went to Hospital Kuala Lumpur (HKL) to do my medical check-up, part of the routine after receiving the offer letter to work in the government. There are many things that I was confused about so here I am just going to share my experience for those who may want to know beforehand.

Things to bring: Bring your medical report form and a photocopy of your offer letter as they will need one copy. Once you reach HKL, look for Wisma Kayu which is a relatively short orange building as it is where the medical check-up department is situated. If you have trouble locating it, try looking for the pink Maternity Building (Hospital Bersalin) first (Block G). Wisma Kayu is right opposite the pink building. 

The medical check-up department is on the ground floor. You won't miss it. Once you reach there, they will give you so many forms to fill in. One for X-ray, 2 for urine test, etc.

Kind reminder for ladies, if you are having period, you cannot do the urine test. 

Next, they will bring you to do the eye examination first. Today I had a rookie doing it for me and I am slightly upset because he seems so blur. After that, they will ask you to give them two urine samples. One for doping test and another for the biochemical test. For doping, you must hand in one urine sample to the medical check-up department but for the other sample, you must walk all the way back to the main building to the outpatient department (OPD).

At OPD, look for Bahagian A and hand in your sample to the satellite lab. Then go upstairs to the 1st floor to do your X-ray at the PDR department. Because you will need to change to hospital gown to do the X-ray, make sure you keep your belongings in a safe place or with friends and not with any hospital staff (because there was a notice warning the patients).

The only thing HKL won't do is the dental check-up. They will ask you to do at either government or private clinic. I did mine at Klinik Kesihatan Bandar Tun Razak which just took like 5 minutes.

However, for the other check-ups, HKL asked me to come back 10 days later for the doctor's appointment. 

The medical check-up dept opens at 8am and I would advise to come early. Today I came almost 9am due to stupid kl traffic jam and I settle everything within 1 hour. Did not even wait long. And I brought a book and newspapers with me to kill the boredom, which I did not even have the chance to touch.

So, now I have to go again next Thursday which means I have to take another day off from my Guardian attachment. Why so many things have to happen in June?

being cruel: because some days I can be cruel

Short update: I have finally opened up my own pre-loved blog to make way for more shopping~! Lol~ Take a look *HERE*


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I'm coming home

Tell the World I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes

I'm coming home, I'm coming home

Tell the World that I'm coming

*link*

Homecoming
Feeling so emo lately...
Don't know why, must be the stress,
I have been really liking this song, especially the intro part,
Not that I am feeling homesick or anything,
No, not the literal meaning,
To me homecoming means actually finding the light,
I just want to find somewhere I belong,
Just want to know what my future is like,
I want to have that feeling of control,
To feel like I am not lost anymore...

Friends
Lately, feeling like I have been in a streak of bad luck,
It seems the more I care about something, the more I get hurt,
And when I needed people the most,
Everyone just let me down (except one),
I understand, everyone have their own goals to achieved,
People can be selfish, that is life.

Love
Before this, I used to ask friends,
What was more important?
To have feelings or to appreciate someone who is nice to you...
It seems to be unanimous,
feelings topped everything else
But then, what if the person you like more, treats you badly,
You will still forgive?
What if he never changes?

Decision
Thanks to someone,
I feel like I realized something,
I have been blinded, and stupid too,
It seems like the answer was right there all the time,
I think I now know what to do,
Yes, it is all thanks to that person.
Thank you for being selfish and unappreciative.

Think before you act
Finally,
I just want to say that,
Before you start being cocky and reject someone's favors,
And not help someone when they are in need,
Think about how you may need that person's help in the future.
Because, karma is really a bitch.
I cannot believe the extent of fakeness people can go through,
I pretend not to know just so I won't hurt you.
But I was not born yesterday.
I know more than I actually show.
All I am saying is, serves you right for being such a bitch.

***I don't know why I blogged so little. Writing always made me feel better. Always. My only chingu since small, and writing will never let me down, unlike people***

24 hours of silence

So here I am, wanting to blog either on Turkey, 2010, Bukit Tinggi or the recent Pharmacy Course Night but feeling slightly emo right now.

I am sick. Again. For the umpteenth time. Shit. And I wanted to shout this Thursday, when I am going to a concert. Yup, broke my concert virgin (ok. not sound so nice there) and splurge out to get as near as possible to my favourite Korean Idols - B2ST, 4 Minute and G.Na.

First time I am getting this - Inflammation of vocal cords. It started out as mild sore throat and fever. After fever's gone, the sore throat persisted. And then last night was the ultimatum. I shouted and cheered too much, forgetting the condition of my throat. And obviously I strained it. Now I have no more voice, or more like a muffled, hoarse whisper. Doctor's advice: Refrain from talking for the next 24 hours.

I got medical leave for tomorrow's classes but feel like in a dilemma to miss class. I don't know why but since young, I don't like to play truant. Sigh. But I cannot risk losing my voice so I am going to listen to the doc and stay at Setapak tomorrow, hoping to catch up on my mountain of notes. However, there is a important workshop in the afternoon so yup, I am dragging myself to campus still. Just hope no one will ask me too many questions. It's difficult to control myself from not speaking as frequently or as normally as I used to.

Lately, I realized if I have been clinging on to some things. I am more like an idealist than a realist. Often, I find myself daydreaming and having fantasies rather than to face the facts like they are. I credit this to my childhood ambition of wanting to be a writer. I am just saying this because I feel like I put my hopes in someone and that person just really disappoint me. It seems to me like this person will never change and until now, I don't know why I care so much for this person. Perhaps, I am indeed too much of a dreamer, hoping that I can change this person, when in fact, deep down, I know I probably have zero influence on this person.

Four weeks into my classes now and I feel like in an ultimate mess. Notes are piling up, all white and clean as I have yet to find the mood to scrutinize them. My closet's in a mess too, with things coming in but never going out. And with my current condition now, I just don't feel like bothering with any of this clean-up. But I know this is an excuse because even if I am not sick, I probably will not clean up either.

2011 is here already. A few more months and I will be starting my working life. Problem is, I don't feel prepare for it. After so many years in uni, have I even mature? I don't feel proud of the things I did here although I have met many wonderful people. Looking at others, it feels like everyone are so grown up and I am always lost, constantly. This feels like a challenge, to me.

Maybe that is how life is? Maybe I should do something?

Crap, I have stomachache now. And it's 2am. January is just not a good month for me:(

five more days

Today was my results presentation for my research project. Presentation for 7 minutes, and then Q&A for 3 minutes. The presentation part has never been much of a problem for me. My greatest concern has always been the Q&A part. Doing a clinical research project, I have realized, is not easy at all. Especially since you really need experience in this field in order to do it well. The clinical lecturers are all so experienced, they know if you have missed out something in your work. Plus, there were just too many variables to consider that at times, it gets so stressed just thinking about it. But the worst part of my research is definitely the statistics. I did not have a strong background in statistics, and I overestimated myself, thinking I can do it without any help. Boy, was I wrong. From beginning till the end, my statistics keep giving me problems after problems.

The worst was last night when I found out I made a grave mistake in my study, statistically. It was my fault, entirely. I was well-aware of that point before I started my study but I didn't know how I could have forgotten such an important point during my analysis. When I heard about it, my mind just went blank. No words could come out from my mouth.

Last night, I was just so upset with myself. I totally regret myself for not taking the statistics part of my study seriously. But I also realized it was too late to change or correct what has been done wrong. It was time for damage control. I search all over internet hoping to find an answer, a good explanation to the errors of my doing. However, to no avail, it was a futile effort.

I woke up at 5.30am, hoping to continue my sleep. But my mind started wondering to the possibility of lecturers questioning me on my mistakes. What was I going to answer? Dozens of answers raced through my mind, but none of it satisfactory. It has occurred to me this is reality, it was not a bad dream. Finally, I decided to go for my last resort - look for a statistics lecturer for a consultation.

When I was in the bus on my way to campus, my mind was in a mess. There I was , worried like hell. I knew it was not easy to look for a statistics lecturer, especially at such a time constraint. I keep blaming myself.

The bus was almost full. An elderly Indian gentleman saw my roommate standing and offered her a seat next to him. She gladly took that offer. So he got up and let her in. After she sat, he still stood. Then, he looked at me and offer me his seat instead.

I was surprised. Here I was, a twenty-something student and an elderly gentleman, who could easily be my grandfather offered me his seat! Of course, I declined. How could I sit and let an elderly man stand? That is no good on my conscience. But he insisted, claiming that he has been sitting for a long time. No, it's okay, I said, you can sit. Finally, to avoid making a scene, I sat in his place as he stood until his stop.

That was the 1st fortunate thing that happened to me that morning. Growing up in an urban city like Kuala Lumpur, I have seen the good and bad side of the people here (well, mostly bad). It has never ceases to amaze me that chivalry can still exist despite all the selfishness I have witnessed. I wanted to tell the uncle that thank you, I have been having a really rough night and morning and your little gesture has made my morning a little better.

When I finally reached campus, I hurried to the offices of all 3 statistics lecturers. As I expected, none of them were in their rooms. I started to panic. There was 1 more hour left till presentation starts. And 2 more hours before it will be my turn to present. What if I am still not able to seek any help before then? But I decided to try my luck and waited outside one of the lecturer's office. 30 minutes passed and I wanted to give up and look for my supervisor instead but I convinced myself to wait a little while longer.

Finally, like a spotlight, the much-sought lecturer returned to his office. I was so happy I could burst into tears. I quickly told him my dilemma, hoping he can give me an answer that I want to hear. He was not pleased to hear about my mistake, saying that it is indeed wrong. However, he said that it was still acceptable. There it is, just what I needed, a reassurance.

So after thanking him, I quickly rushed to see my supervisor whose office was on the other side of the campus. I wanted to tell him in advance my problem and get his opinion on the matter. But as I got down from the lift, I saw him coming, heading towards my way. Another stroke of luck. I quickly consulted with him on the matter and he agreed, to state it as limitation of my study.

To keep a blog post short, my results presentation was not as bad as I imagined. There were 3 stern lecturers that I was afraid of. One did not come, and the other one went out of the room as I was presenting so she missed my presentation. Thank goodness, because I knew she will spot my mistakes.

I know that I always complain a lot about all the bad things that happen to me. I am a pessimistic person by nature, ever since I was a child. But sometimes, just sometimes, I should learn to appreciate the good things that happen to me. I know that every day is not going to be a lucky day like today. For that, I am grateful because although I will only have 1 lucky day, you don't know how much today meant to me.

Next stop is VIVA next monday. There is no escaping this. 30minutes of Q&A. It will be pure torture I know. Pray hard for me...

discouraged

Doing thesis / research project is supposed to be highlight of final year. It carries huge loads of credits and one is supposed to excel and give greatest effort in doing it...

So why do I feel so discouraged? Why do I feel like giving up although it is not the end yet? Why do I not feel proud of my work? Why do I still feel like I know nothing?

Constantly feel de-motivated. Feels like friends have more passion in their work than I have in mine. I really hope I can still give it all I got.

But how?...

the end of another semester

At last, my exams are over and done with. This semester, I felt like it was one of the worst, when it came to exams. Because of my procrastination again, I edited my manuscript last minute and then, what is left is only a few days to prepare for my finals.

Although finals are done, now come another greatest hurdle - my results presentation and viva. I am proud of my research project, truly. But I am not sure if I can convinced the lecturers to feel the same. It does not help, especially considering my examiner is a stern lecturer. I just pray that he will have mercy on me and does not bring me to tears during viva. Haih...

I had so much fun after exams (and also during the short breaks in between). Had theobroma chocolate fondue, went to watch movies, went ice-skating and ate a lot of good food. It is fun hanging out with friends. I will post up pics soon, when I find the time.

I have still not yet found the mojo to blog. Just rants once in a while. Hopefully, after my viva is over, when I feel like my burden has been lifted. Right now, all I have in my mind is the feeling of stress over my research project. Pray for me, peeps~

08:10pm

so short u will be bored

yes this is a short post because apparently, i have no mood to blog yet. maybe next week when my holidays start, then i will blog longer posts.

yesterday, someone said something to me that made me went, "Ouch!".

some people can be so damn insensitive.

makes me feel sorry that at their age, still can be so stupid and blurt out the most hurtful things.

no wonder no one likes the said person.

c'mon show a little sensitivity for other people's feelings.

hate these kind of selfish people.

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on a lighter note, few months ago, some reporter from Star came to interview my mom about insurance stuff. they finally publish the article and my mom's name was mentioned. woo-hoo:)

p.s. in case you dunno, my mom's name is Mary Yee.

the link is here: http://thestar.com.my/metro/story.asp?file=/2010/9/3/central/6475100&sec=central

perlas grises

lately i have been in some dilemma. not only about my thesis work, but on some personal issues too. maybe part of it is due to the fact that i am back in classes. it just feels like the burden on my shoulders are getting heavier. about the issue, i try not thinking about it because i felt like i didn't know how to deal with it. but there have been a lot of signs recently and if i look closely at them, i think i see the answers in them.

i don't think i have the answers for all my dilemmas right now. maybe i should just try to overcome them one at a time, and hopefully my burden will then unload by itself.

i just don't want anyone to get hurt.

i wanna go back home

today has been an awful day...sometimes i dunno why i keep having expectations of people, just to have them let me down. it is my fault, i know. and i should not have been so immature, letting these small things get to me. i have such a bad temper sometimes. anyway, tomorrow is a brand new day. everything happens for a reason, right? i wanna start tomorrow on a brand new slate, and erase all the unhappy things that happened today.

one more last difficult major paper on monday. hopefully i can survive it:)

in the mood for a change

this week has been, pretty much a crap week. so much stuff to ponder about, feels so depressed almost every day. i had to rushed to do my literature review this week. told myself to set a deadline to hand it in on monday, but instead handed it on friday. did my lit review until 2AM almost every day, once even at 3AM. and then came the dreaded clinical attachment day. interviewing patients, i wouldn't say is my forte, but finding the right patient is a huge headache to me. for my last clinical, i found a patient with much difficult cases, this time i found one with a case that i felt is too simple, which makes it so much harder to write a report on. thurs and friday were days spend looking for patients to fill in my questionnaires. can you believe i took 3 days just to complete my pilot study? my progress is so so slow. to top it all off, i had to settle some personal problems. money, to me is not the problem here. it is the people. sometimes people around me hurt me more than other stuff. i guess, sometimes we all have our breaking point. i really wished one of these days, i don't have to deal with people anymore. every day, i am seeing the ugly and selfish side of people and it hurts me.

thank you for those who were kind enough to listen to my problems this week. honestly, i really don't want to complain about things that are happening to me, because i feel like those are my problems and that i should handled them myself, instead of dragging people down with me. but after telling everything, i feel a lot better. which is why when a friend approached me with problems this week, i listened to that person and hopefully that person also felt better. what is the use of friends, if not to make our lives easier for one another?

i learned something this week, which is not to get myself all worked up over things i cannot control. what people think of me, how other people feel about me, those are things i cannot control. but what i can control is how i respond to the situation. i guess life is a learning process after all.

it's been a while for me to write something so reflective here. i guess i am feeling a little melancholic after watching God Of Study K-drama. i always get so caught up in TV shows and movies.

sorry for all the wrong punctuation marks. i am just not in the mood to edit everything;)

money is on my mind all the time

Lately, I feel like I have been overspending. Really, my money is flowing out of my wallet like liquid. And I feel really guilty because I keep telling myself to write down what I spend my money on, a list of spending, but each time I fail to do it. It is not that I am rich and have lots of money to spend, I think I seriously do not know my limit. Plus, I get so tempted easily. Maybe it is time for a new me, a new money-savvy me. I need to learn how to spend money wisely, instead of being so materialistic. Because I do not want to be known as a "pai ka lui".

Shopping, birthday presents, birthday dinners, T-shirts sold in uni, books, food...is there any way I can reduce my spending and still have fun?

what will I do now? (edited)

Not much updates this week...

I am officially having worst week (and day as well)

All the misfortunes that can ever happen at one time...

• Made mistake in all my letters for industrial training.
• I cannot find my camera (again)
• My parcel never arrive from pos laju
• I cannot do any updates in both my blogs without a camera

*Sigh*

What will I do now?

****EDITED*****

• I found my camera! It dropped into the sofa!!! OMG, I almost had a heart attack!!! Thank God for Mom who found it!!!!
• Turns out the sender of my parcel made an error in my address, no wonder I did not received my parcel....she has posted a new parcel for me at no extra postage!!! I hope I received it this time now.....*prays really hard*
• Yay, I can update my blog.......

why the past remains in the past

-source linkie-

Today is one of those days where reminiscent takes over my brain. The reason being that I saw one of my early crushes. Haha. I know, I was so childish back then, having all these unnecessary crushes on boys. I actually forgotten all about him, it was so long ago, until I saw him today. Mind you, it was a pre-pubescent crush, it was THAT long ago. Obviously, he no longer look as cute as he did back then, and somehow I don't even know why I am blogging about this.

Our eyes are in front for us to look forward. I won't let myself pondered on the past, surrounding myself with "what ifs." The past is already in the past. And let's keep it there.

New semester resolutions:

• Study harder, especially be more hardworking in reading the notes earlier, not LAST-MINUTE anymore.
• Go to gym more often. Some days I feel so fat and useless.
• Try to be more outspoken. Clinical days are ahead, a bit worried there.
• Try to be nicer to people and control my temper.

Just keeping the list short, not trying to be so over-ambitious and all.

Two weeks of travelling....
Three weeks of messing around at home sweet home...
Four weeks of typist job....

Only 7 more working days and 14 more days back at UKM for my 3rd year (=.=!!)

my laptop sucks

My computer crashed yet again. This makes it the second time this year. Sometimes I just don't know what I did to make it so.

And worst still, I tried fixing it by trying to reformat, etc. Only I think I made it worse.

I am so so angry and frustrated right now. Why did this have to happen?

Gone all my pictures, files, music, videos. All gone.

Today is truly the worst day ever. And I thought the day my results will be out is going to be the worst day. It has not even arrive and already, things are starting to roll downhill.

Life sucks.

damn that mother-chucker

Yes, I could not wait for Season 2 of GossipGirl so I downloaded. But not all coz my freakin' laptop is so freakin' slow! So I saw the first episode and fourth episode. Chuck is effin' hawtt (but so is Shia)

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This one is for the girls.

Still fresh from last night's movie, here are some hawtt pics of Shia I found online. Lolz. There are tonnes of sources but I took these from Shia LaBeouf's myspace.

The guy is a Jewish, a smoker, a drinker and has three tattoos. But those green eyes are so damn mesmerizing...dammit! It is guys like Shia that makes me sometimes wish I was born in US of A. I hate to admit this, but I think there is a small part in girls that are particularly attracted to a certain type of male species feebly termed "badboy". Goody-two-shoes kinda guys (no offense, but this is the best term I can come up with that has a clear anatagonistic meaning associated with badboys) are dependable and responsible, but sometimes mundane in contrast with guys like Shia. Every girl wants some little excitement in their lives, whether they will admit it or not. And yes, like it or not, I admit I am particularly fond of rebels, some of my epic crushes have always NOT been the stereotypical prince charming.

I think I have been watching too much GG. I am beginning to imagine GG's voice as I am typing this post. Crap.

Awww...this pic with megan fox is so cuteeee...*swoons*

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Here is a question I have been pondering today: Let say A likes B but B doesn't like A. Would you tell A to give up or keep becoming persistent and continue going after B?

I hate to say this, but if a girl rejected you and you are still pining after her, then you are quite pathetic. Sometimes I just don't get it, all this fairytale romances shit have definitely poisoned some people's mind. Sometimes I just want to screamed "move on and get over this shit, loser" but I hate to give the wrong advice that will lead to unfavorable consequences. Fear has always been a person's worst enemy since prehistoric times. The way I see it, you will only attract a girl's attention if you are having fun and being yourself. But how to have fun if you are being such a pathetic loser?

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Okay, emo crapshit aside, I have been doing quite a LOT of shopping. Not proud of it, since I am not the type of girl who has lots of free-flowing cash in her purse. But I just cannot help it. Shopaholicism it is. Hopefully I can save myself from going to therapy or rehab. So these are some of the stuff I bought ever since new term started, about three months ago. I cannot really recall everything I bought so I will just list out some of my very favourites.

Brace yourselves for a bimbo post. (And sometimes I justify myself as not being the girly kind of girl)

Shoes shoes shoes...coz you can never go wrong with shoes (well not always). And all these shoes were for RM20 each. I am such a sucker for bargains

Mom thought I should add more heels to my collection since I am so fond of flats

Bling bling sandals

The new BUM sneakers that I am ecstatic about

Earrings all from Momoe. I lurve earrings!

I got this tee coz it reminded me of the time when I had braces

Cheap tee for only RM15

Cool sweater...because I am a Queen. Lolz. Not a princesssss.

Bought these from a boutique all the way at Sg Long. So far, my fave formal clothes

Wore this to Val's bday party

Wore this to Lunch with wooying

This one I didn't buy. My mom bought it but decided she didn't like it after all. Hey, any hand-me-downs are still good clothes

Cute cardigan

The grey knitted dress that did not look good on the hanger but look cute (on me!...ROFL)

Ever since I got hooked on GG, I have been obsessing after dresses. They have such great-looking ones on set that I simply cannot help myself

Something that looks so manhattan-ish

guilt is a five letter word

我不知道什么想 ... 我愿望生活可能是一批更简单的 ... 或许它是因为女孩太多想...

________________________________________________

I feel...

...guilty...

I guess hols means a time of reflection for yours truly as well.

Yesterday I went through my friends' list on friendster to delete off some people that I do not know (yes I have lots of time and I am lame like that). As I went through some of these "friends" profiles, it occurred to me that these people used to be my classmates but I simply have no recollection of them at all.

Desiree sms-ed me yesterday. As some probably know, I lost my handphone back in February so anyone who did not keep in touch with me after that, I do not have your number. Sorry but don't blame me, blame the bloody thief. Anyways, she called me Chicken and I was wondering who in the world would call me that. Yes, Desiree and me sat together back in Form 2 and she is one of the funniest girls I have ever known. Chicken is the nickname she gave me because I used to call her Cow. Get it? Cow&Chicken, as in that stupid cartoon on Cartoon Network?

But back to the point, what I am trying to say is that all these years, I have never tried to keep in touch with anyone from my past, especially in SKTC (my primary school) and SMK Perimbun, where I studied for two years.

In fact, eventhough my time in Perimbun had been short, I had a blast there. Friends were plenty and I had never been more active than I had been during those two years. Prefect, choir, choral speaking and yet still juggling my studies. Crap, I do miss those times.

I know they say times change and people change too. I never kept in touch with them because I thought they probably moved on too. New friends, new places, new environment. I too, wonder if they even remember me. What with their new social circle of friends, will I still be able to fit in?

All these thoughts came in because she invited me to her 21st bday bash. Gosh, I have not seen these ex-classmates of mine for years. Do I really want to go?...

On another topic regarding friendster, I envy the juniors. Here they are, all so "tuan jie", taking lots of pics together and it made me reflect on my own relationships with my coursemates. Not that I hate them or I don't get along with them, it's just that I wish we could know each other a lot more, rather than always hanging out in gangs and groups and cliques.

And yet another thing I am guilty about...my results for mid-sem exams suck. Not that I did not expect it to. I am proud to have 2As but the rest yeah, kinda extreme grades. Did not fail although almost did for Pharmaco. It is time for me to "fan sing" and bertaubat already. Must stop messing around.

But some things are easier said than done. Whoever said life is a bed of roses seriously gone freakin' whack in the head.

love is crap

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen - Francois due de La Rochefoucauld

______________________________

I found this excerpt from a senior's blog. Rather not give names bcoz I don't want to get into anyone's bad books, especially a senior's. And no, the link is not from my blog. I got it from a friend's blog bcoz I am not close to this senior at all.

I would let it go but I just have to give my two cents worth when I read this on her blog:

"What if the one I found later is not THE ONE? This really scares me. I don't want to be with the one, I want THE ONE! I want to be with THE ONE who loves me and only me and me love him and only him. I don't want to be with someone just because the TIMING is right."

Is it just me or really, everyone is such a fool for love? What is it about this looking for "the one" and all this crap. This is why I don't addict myself to Taiwan and Korean dramas anymore. I used to enjoy them but after a while, the storyline becomes so predictable and corny. I am not condemning anyone who watches them, don't get me wrong. I have a LOT of friends who do. I just don't get it why people still live in fantasyland and believe in all this "the one" crap.

Maybe it's because of the environment I grew up in. You know, having divorced parents and my not-so-good record with guys but the thing is, I believe in the theory that you have to kissed a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

I resent those who hang on to a relationship which is on the verge of breaking. That everyone can see that it is heading towards disaster, except those involved in it. And they stay on. Why? Just because they are afraid of being alone. Do you know most couples break up really because they have found someone better? So even if he/she breaks up with his/her current squeeze, at least they have another to fall to, instead of being alone.

Now I want to ask, "Is it so freakin' bad to be alone? Is it like an embarassing and unspeakable disgrace if you are alone, without a boyfriend/girlfriend? Is it like the worst thing that can ever happened to you?" Please-lah.

I would rather choose to be alone than to keep hanging on in an unhappy relationship.

And really, what does it mean to find "the one"? Honey, sometimes in life, you don't always get what you want. Live with it. Dramas, movies, books, they all trick us vulnerable hormone-raging young adults into believing about "the one" just so they can gain profits and fame.

I am really not trying to be the party-pooper here but I think there should be a change of mindset, especially as we mature into young adults. Why do we play the roles of slave to love? And resent ourselves when we do not find a person to be with?

I admire not the people who found their other halves, but those who survived without finding anyone. It is not easy to go through what they went through and instead of feeling pity for them, maybe we can all learn something from these people.

One of it is indepence. Even if you are in a relationship, stop relying so much on your boyfriend ok? I cannot stand those girls who treat their boyfriends like their sugar daddies. They are your boyfriend, not your father. It should be a give-and-take situation, not one-sided. Stop being so freakin' useless just because you found love.

I realized I sound very irritated here but I just think someone should speak up about how our society of young people are so desperate when it comes to love. And our fear of being alone. Look around you. You are not alone. If you have just broken up or resent yourself for still being single, it is not the end of the world. There is so much more in life than finding "the one".

Please, just grow up already.

it's been a long day...wtf

I downloaded Jason Mraz's "We sing, we dance, we steal things" and I have grown to lurveee it! "♫Do you hear me? Talking to you? Across the oceee-an, across the deep blue seee-aaa...♪" - Lucky, a duet with my other favourite singer, Colbie Caillat

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA, MALAYSIA!

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I know wtf is such an overused word but I am going to say it anyway. wtf? wtf? wtf? wtf? wtf?

The thing is this, I will try to explain it in simple layman's language since basically, I am computer pak-chee anyways. All this while, I thought everyone was too busy to update their blogs (yes I do blog-stalk, blog-hop, blog-whatever you call it...bite me) but the truth was there was something bloody wrong with my mom's laptop. It is "stuck in a time zone of about two weeks ago" (okay, that is as simple as I can explain it)...Can someone tell me what the bloody matter is for the computer to act so un-computer-like? (omg I sound so bimbo).

So yeah lah, I just brought my laptop home today for the 4 days break as well as to celebrate the fact that I regained my freedom. Six awfully difficult papers (honestly, what exams are not difficult?) in super-hectic five freakin' days! Even Pharmacy Practice, an open Law book exam, also didn't cut us any slack (I have a newfound respect for Law students now...wtf). The questions weren't that hard but super no time lor. Even the first question requires a three-page answer!

Alamak, dunno how I got terpesong, what I was trying to say is that when I came back home today, I realized there had been so so so many posts in my friends' blogs that I didn't know existed until today. So many that I gave up reading some of them halfway because super tired already.

The reason I am writing so freakin' long is the fact that I realized I have not been writing much in my blog lately. So far it has always been a bombardment of pics - pics of myself, of food, and of other people. Clearly, words give a better indication of a person's personality.

Don't get me wrong, I am not feeling obliged to write. It's just that I miss writing and writing craps, all spontaneously without planning. I have not been doing it for so long that it just feels like the right moment is now, after the heavy burden of exams have been lifted off my shoulders.

Anyway, there have been some updates about myself since the last time I posted here. More pics to come, of Mom's bday dinner, KFC dinner with housemates, brunch with Waikuan and my shopping spree! Ya lah, must be the stress getting to me, shopping like damn madwoman already. Just yesterday supposed to go buy bday present only, ended up not only buying present, but a pair of shoes, sweater and T-shirt. And then today, another pair of shoes and pants. The week before, two blouses. 2 weeks before, a pair of shoes and also 2 blouses. Gawd, so freakin' becoming shopaholic already!

Not much happening these weeks besides that. Every second-year has been busy with "buddy" stuff. The usual-lah, give notes, have lunch, introduce the small buddy to the rest of the buddy line. And ya-lah, I had lunch with my entire buddy line, which consists of all guys except me (=.=!!!). My grand, Eng Wee, my buddy, Cherh Yun and now my small buddy, Chye Teck. Really glad that my small came despite the fact he had no classes at all that day. Took a bus all the way from KTSN to fac just to have lunch with us. Ok-lah, he had one class that day but he "ponteng". Haih...so geng-lah first-years.

Today's mood is very very tired. Send my roommate to lrt station and then afterwards, shopping with me mom for more than 3 hours. And someone made me irritated today as well, which explains why I am not in the best of mood now. I still do not think I was wrong, but whatever-lah. At least I had was the bigger person to talk first. Better than some small gas person.

That's all for now. More updates soon:)

i dunno when it started but...

...I love pharmacy.

Yesterday, waiyin came to see me at setapak and we had ice-cream at the little tree cafe for lunch.

She asked me something that till now I have not forgotten.

She asked me, if I was given a course other than Pharmacy, would I take it?

And it had occurred to me that I would not want to do any other courses BUT pharmacy.

I didn't know when I started falling in love with this course. Seriously.

But I feel proud when I tell people I am a Pharmacy student.

I just cannot imagine myself enjoying any other courses as much.

I had always been afraid of making the wrong choices but this time, I know I am on the right path.

Only God knows what the future holds for me as a pharmacist.

But right now I am enjoying the journey.

There are people telling me they had made the wrong choice in choosing their courses and wishing they could change it. Suddenly it felt like it was the wrong path for them.

All I can say is that when you become too complacent in your life, it is hard to make decisions. Those who succeed in life are those who were not satisfied with their lives.

I am forever thankful to God for answering my prayers and making my dream come true for giving me this course.

I love Pharmacy. I really do.