"joined by love, separated by fear, redeemed by hope"

I will be starting classes next Monday. Like everyone else, I hate to go back. It is just such a stressful environment. Here are my new resolutions: 1) Study hard and 2) Save money.

Oh well, all good things must come to an end.

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"Come back. Come back to me." - Cecilia Tallis

So yesterday I wanted to go look for a book at Leisure Mall but instead I found this:

Yes, I never found the book I wanted. So I thought, what the heck? Might as well buy something since I drove all the way here.

And I did. I bought "Atonement" the vcd at Speedy, the shop that charges an exorbitant amount of money for its merchandise. Okay, missing the point here.

Anyway, this movie caught my interest mainly because, well yeah, James McAvoy is in it. I really like him a lot in "Wanted" and I have heard nothing but great reviews about this movie, particularly the fact that it was nominated for several Oscars.

So the Oscars people cannot be wrong right? Although they are not necessarily right either.

First look at the cover and the movie trailer (on the internet) and I became sceptical about it. To me, it looks like one of those sappy love story that transcends borders and in this case, transcends the severity of World War II. Another one of those tragic melodrama, where the director is trying to prove that the power of love is so strong and of course, as in every war-themed drama, death is inevitable, and tears from the audience as well.

Well, I was only partially right.

My early assumptions was probably due to the fact that I did not really understood the word Atonement so I looked it up in the dictionary:

"Atonement n. atoning; making amends for wrong;"

Now I finally understand.

I wasn't particularly optimistic as I started playing the vcd on my laptop because this is not the kind of genre of movie I normally would go for. However, I was excited to see my James McAvoy. I was thinking, lucky this movie has James in it. Otherwise, I would not even bother taking it off the racks.

The story is simple enough, played out mainly in two parts. The movie is basically focused more on 13-year-old Briony Tallis, who is a talented writer but has a rather fanciful and imaginative mind. She sees things going on between her sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) and Robbie Turner (James) and draws her own conclusions.

The first part portrays the lives of the rich Tallis family members and Robbie, a housekeeper's son who goes through Cambridge thanks to the generosity of the Tallis'. In the beginning, we can see how Robbie and Cecilia are attracted to one another, but somehow something seems to be obstructing them.

I did not quite understand, and when I watched some of the interviews on the net, I found out that Robbie and Cecilia were in fact, secretly in love with one another for five years, but drawn apart because of their status.

I guess one need to read the book (from which this movie is adapted: Atonement by Ian McEwan) to fully grasp the feel of the movie.

Their mutual attraction finally peaked when a misunderstanding concerning a letter arised. And caught in the middle of this is little Briony, whom we later find out that she too, has feelings for Robbie. But Robbie only has eyes for her sister, Cecilia.

And on that same night, a rape happened to one of Briony's cousins. We never really know if Briony did witness the culprit but all we know is she falsely accused Robbie as the rapist, which I assumed is because of the love triangle between herself, him and her sister.

So Briony lied and Robbie's world took a 180 degrees turn.

Poor Robbie. A young man, filled with goodness and heart, about to venture into medical school, with a loving mother and the woman he loved, now goes to prison for something he did not commit.

The movie follows a non-chronological order, which works well as later we find out that it is based on Briony's memory. But it also make paid extra attention just so I can fully understand the movie.

Then the second part comes. Given the option of joining the army or staying imprisoned, young Robbie goes to war in France. Cecilia and himself were reunited in London, with her being a nurse and leaving her family behind, the family that she hated for pulling her apart from her lover.

There was also young Briony, all grown up now, also a nurse and she regrets the lie that she told, fully grasping the consequences of what she had done and the lives she had destroyed.

So she tries to make amends with Robbie and Cecilia, the lovers who struggle to be together despite the distance and war conditions.

After watching the movie, I was very much impressed. It was simple, with amazing cinematography, especially the one depicting the evacuating soldiers on the beach.

The story is just about how one lie can drastically change the course of events, how it can greatly affect the life of the person involved in the lie and those around him. It is also about forgiveness, how we seek for it and about regret and guilt and also, how it is all just too late.

In the beginning, I was very much in contempt with Briony's actions. How she testify against Robbie and framed him, even providing the letter to prove her accusations. I was annoyed at how she could do such a thing, especially towards a man she had probably known her whole life.

As the movie progresses and I learn about how she fancies Robbie all this while, I felt pity for her instead. Here was a young girl, not knowing anything about sexual attraction and witnessing things that she probably did not understand. She likes him but obviously, he is madly in love with his sister. Maybe in her naive mind, she thought that if she cannot have him, then darn well her sister would not have him either.

I really liked the first part of the movie, the things that happened before the huge rape event. The second part seems to me a bit slow and sometimes, not as interesting as I would like it to be. Maybe the idea of war and all, seems to me, to be a little lacklustre in terms of excitement.

And I must simply applaud James McAvoy in his brilliant role. This guy does not need any script or speak any lines. Just the look on his face and his eyes tell the whole story. This man is a real genius and I think, he is what actually made this movie as wonderful as it is.

Of course, Keira is amazing as usual. I also read that the actress who played the young Briony was even nominated for an Oscar.

So...I think that pretty much conclude my review for a movie which is really old news. Well, I am no movie buff ok and I missed out on a lot of great movies.

But seriously, if you have the chance to watch Atonement, pls do. It is a small film which leaves a huge impact.

And it teaches you not to lie, very important lesson there.

And, damn those British accents. They get to me every single time. Can any accent sound hotter than those English's?

For the record, I absolutely lurve this gorgeous-dress-that-I-will-never-be-able-to-afford-in-my-entire-life:

a weekend of birthdays

I know this is old news, I kinda forgotten I wanted to post it here. Tony Leung Chiu Wai and Carina Lau, two great Hong Kong celebrities are finally getting married! They have been together since 1989! Lol. I seriously dunno what to comment.

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Can you believe three bday events consecutively? That is what happened when you are born in 1987. Many 21st bday events this year, of course, considering that 21 is the symbolic age of maturity. I get to relish the fact that everyone is getting old, all because I am a November baby, when really, I know that my time will come and it is not that long away. Yes, it is all a camouflage to me, to run away from the fact that I am going to be officially responsible for all my actions. Damn, I think I am having a turning-21-life-crisis.

27th June 2008 ~ #1: RENDEZVOUS

It is Ah Len's bday!!! Yes, her name is len yi won, a girl I met in SBU but only got to know her better in VI because coincidentally, she sits right in front of me. She is currently pursuing Pharmacy @ IMU.

After watching the movie with seen ing, we both met up with soo ee, walk around for a while at Leisure Mall and then we head on to Rendezvous Steak Garden, near Bulatan Kampung Pandan.

Yes, but thanks to clever ol' me, who was the driver slash guide, I got the three of us lost and stuck in KL traffic jam at the worst hour of the day, so we arrived a good one hour late.

For those living in KL area, you must be going "WHAT???!!! WTF????" Because the place is so damn near and gawd knows, how I ended up in the egregrious KL after-work traffic jam. The funny thing was the fact that the place was right next to us and we didn't even realize it.

Well, like I said, we arrive late and what was supposedly a "surprise" bday dinner for Len Yi, unfortch, well you do not need me to go into the details. Phon and Len nicely greeted us when we arrive...(=_=)

The crowd mainly consists of ex-SBU girls, well no surprise there. Reunion between myself, seen ing, soo, wainey, suz C, lip shen, may san, and ah len. Then there were the usual BF-ians, like phon, wai loon, and li ling. And spouses and other victorians (true vics, to be exact) alike.

Now, Rendezvous is a restaurant which has been established for years now. I remember going there as a child (hence, the 'confidence' that I can lead the way). The food is mediocre, good ol' western-style delights.

Unfortunately, dunno what happened to moi that day - brought camera but NO MEMORY CARD! Yes, so bimbo-like. Crap. This is the 2nd time already! (1st time was CAC Nite)

So like it or not, have to give credits lor to the person I steal the photos from. You can read more about this place here but I think many know about this restaurant already.

I had the Cheese Chicken. Very yummy and feeling.

The night was spend doing what we do best - chatting and laughing. Eventhough it sounds boring but I can assured you, time passes so quickly whenever you have the biggest crappers and jokers around:)

You can see the quality of my handphone camera. Haih...

So vexingly, this post is devoid of photos from a great night. Haih...Maybe I will post them up if ever I manage to steal any from those who took photos.

"HAPPY TURNING 21 LEN YI WON!"

28th June 2008 ~ #2: MUNAKATA

Went to Setapak in the morn' for more unpacking. I never knew staying off-campus can be so taxing and stressful. I guess I was really being naive when I first decided to stay outside. But too late for regrets now. Just forgive me if ever I am being surly and choleric whenever you see me these days. I am such a worrywart, especially over things that has yet to happened.

After Setapak, Mom had to go get something from her office, so we settle for lunch at a Japanese Restaurant just a stone's throw away. Mom highly recommended it since she and her colleagues frequently dine there.

It is called "Munakata" and situated opposite Wisma KFC on Jalan Sultan Ismail, right above TGI Friday's.

Green tea and wet towel
Mom had the California roll, which was absolutely delectable but at a whopping RM15 for one

What makes this roll special was the fact they put mangoes inside too, who knew?

I had the sashimi and unagi set lunch, which I think was quite reasonably priced. I think it was RM40 or RM45.

Just look at all the fresh salmon and sashimi and the huge piece of unagi

All in all, I enjoyed my Jap lunch experience very much. My set lunch was absolutely scrumptious! The place is great too, with ambient interior, air-conditioner lovely service. Definitely a restaurant that I will go again, but not often because I am not filthy rich.

Read more about Munakata from this food blogger *here*.

Oh ya, in case you didn't notice, I didn't mention anything about birthdays here but it was actually the day of wong ai ling's 21st big bday bash. Unfortunately, silly me did not check my mail, so I saw the invitation too late. Oh well, I guess it was not meant to be.

"HAPPY TURNING 21 WONG AI LING!"

29th June 2008 ~ #3: FUSION HAVEN

Had a small group of BF-ians eating lunch to commemorate yin ching's 21st bday, which was on the 28th. Yinching is a lovely girl from BF that is just so sweet and nice and dear to me. She is doing Chemistry in UM currently. I haven't seen her at all these hols since she did not attend the gatherings so myself and li ling decided to have lunch with her at sri petaling. We also called a few people like phon, len and waiyin.

We went to this place called "Fusion Haven", located at a row of shops behind the "World Of Dim Sum". I hardly ever go to sri petaling to eat because it is not that convenient although I know a good many people staying there.

I found out later from li ling and yinching that the place is owned by the father of one of their old friend. The interior of the place isn't anything to rave about, looks like kopitiam actually, with the marble tables that has so become the trademark of kopitiam.

But the food, I tell you, was wonderful. Yes, right down to the creative presentation of the food. I was really surprised, honest be told. Because we all know how pics in the menu can be so underhand and deceptive that I did not expect my food to come out exactly as it is portrayed in the menu.

I am glad whoever cooked my dish took the initiative to present it in such a way that it looks like a top-notch chef dish. Really, right down to the interesting streaks made by the sauce on my chicken to the cute triangle rice ball.

Once again, I did not bring my camera so terpaksa-lah I steal photos from people again. Here is the lovely blogger I stole the pics from. If you want to see more of the dishes from this place, do visit her blog. I only took the pics of the stuff I ate and other relevant miscellanous.

This is the exact address of the place

I had the Oriental Teriyaki Chicken. The rice ball is hidden beneath the chicken. Only RM12.90.

And for dessert, Li Ling recommended this dish. Only RM3.90. I love the fusion of the hot chocolate inside the cake with the cold flavour of the rasberry ice-cream. A must-try!

The exact location and contact details.

So, here I would like to wish yinching:

"HAPPY TURNING 21 YONG YIN CHING!"

There goes my weekends. All about birthdays.

Sigh...so depressing you know realizing the fact that one have to grow up. I know I still behave like a child sometimes. Well, when you are an only child with mother who only wants what is best for you, it is pretty inevitable.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the idea of growing up.

To me, growing up means making as many mistakes as possible and realizing that they are just mistakes.

Does it make sense? Never mind, I dunno how to end this post anyway.

omfg, james is yummy and wanted is superb

Latte quote of the day: "Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful".

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It had been a hectic and whirlwind couple of days filled with sundry matters. Attending diminutive gatherings, running back and forth to Setapak and yet, despite everything, I am still very much eager to self-absorb myself in Agatha Christie lovely crime novel.

Anyway, on Friday, I finally watched "Wanted" with seen ing, an old SBU friend (who is doing medic in IMU, btw).

I know, this is my 4th movie in a one-week span but in my defence, this had been the movie I really wanted to watch ever since I first saw the trailer. So, can you blame me?

Warning though, spoilers alert. But if you are not planning to watch it, then you can go ahead and read the whole sypnosis of the movie here.

Seriously, this movie is not for the faint-hearted and those who cringes at the sight of hardblood gore action and overuse of firearms plus plenty of fistfights. Violence is inevitable here but can I just say one thing?

THIS MOVIE ROCKS! SO DAMN COOL WEIII!!!!

By far, the best movie ever I have watched this hols. World-class effects (although very much absurd at times, esp when the guy shot 4 guys while walking on air), fresh storyline and absolutely regaling in every aspects. And I am not even an action-flick-fanatic, yet this adrenaline-pumping movie really got me very much captivated. Also,

JAMES MCAVOY IS BLOODY HOT!

Which also explains why I am freaking so excited over this movie. I am just ten seconds away from yelling, "Go freaking watch this movie!" (and I am not even getting paid for any promotions gimmick ok?)

To explain the reasons why you should watch this movie and why I lurve it would be simply trite so I won't even bother. Well, maybe some of you will dissent with me, but I stay firm of my opinion towards this flick and no one, nothing, will change my mind:)

So instead, let me delight myself (and I know, some of you, don't lie) and ogle at the freaking-hot-bod-with-seriously-electric-blue-eyes James McAvoy.

He is Scottish so I do not understand a thing he is saying.

He is 29 years of age. Whatever-lah, like age really matters.

He has been acting since 1995, so he is a very well established actor.

Oooohhh, my fave scene from the movie (although pretty disbelieving).

Best known for movies like "Last King Of Scotland" which also stars academy award winner Forest Whitaker.

And "Atonement", the epic love story where he snogs Keira Knightley (lucky her).

For more about him, check out the links on my sidebar or click here or you can wikipedia-ed him. Google is so last season.

Need I remind how bloody hot he is?

Okay, okay, I know the "Wanted" movie screenshots here all featured just James McAvoy and not the other prominent cast members. Can you blame me? I am straight so of course, I won't plaster Angelina Jolie pics here. Everyone knows she is hot. She knows she is hot. I know she is hot.

If you insist, this have to be my fave pic of the bunch:

One day, when I get enough guts, I might just get a tattoo.

A really small one coz crap, I cannot stand the pain.

If you think James look hot on-screen, he looks even better off-screen:

Those very pretty and flawless eyes...

Killer tux

Cannot deny his perfect physique

More cover shots of him (if you are still not vexed out by now, congrats):

I would continue being obssessed with him, just swooning those drop dead gorgeous eyes and outstandingly great bod if not because...

...he is married.

Shit.

any ukm kkl questions?

My aunt thinks I should have went to work this hols...wth? haih, so sad and pathetic life working from 8am-5pm but the money will be so freakin' fabulous. wtf, I am so damn broke right now:(

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Recently i realized that i have been getting many questions about my campus UKM KKL, esp since i posted about it last year.

i have no problems with questions because i wished that i had someone to enquire when i was first admitted into UKM KKL.

so here is an open invitation, if you have any ques about my campus or if you know anyone who had been accepted into UKM KKL, pls feel free to ask, either by leaving comments in this post or in my chatbox because i will answer all of them in this post, for further reference by other juniors.

pls spread the word around to others as well, who might not know this blog exists so that they are all welcomed to ask anything about the campus.

just am glad to help:)

meanwhile, here are some FAQs i received:

1) How is the dress code in UKM?

The dress code is pretty much the same as in any other public unis. Collared T-shirts, nothing too skimpy and jeans are only not allowed during exams.

here is a warning for orientation week, the 3M week, there are only 3 dress codes available and nothing else. A dark blue baju kurung, a KTSN T-shirt (that they will give) and a traditional outfit (safest, just stick to baju kurung).

during my orientation week, i brought 3 baju kurungs because at the end of the day you will be too exhausted to wash any clothes and trust me, you have to wash the clothes because you are running under the hot sun most of the time.

you won't be wearing any other dress codes during 3M.

2) Are there drinking water?

There is a water cooler in every block, i believe. Well, there is one in J block, my block. Which is clearly not that hygenic. Most people buy water from the osmosis water refilling machine downstairs, or else they have an electric kettle.

3) Any air-con?

No air-con rooms in hostel. In fact, hot as hell inside. Seriously. One of my coursemates brought an electric fan from home. I think 4th floor is the hottest. The only air-con room available in UKM hostel is the library slash study room.

But all classrooms and lecture halls are well-equipped with air-cons.

4) Can request for preferred rooms?

As for roommates of the same race, not to say exactly same race because my roommate is Dusun whilst I am Chinese. They sort by Muslims and non-Muslims. Although initially there were a lot of glitches in terms of roommates, but if you want to change your room, do it quickly. I did have a coursemate who requested to change her room due to allergy problems but if you do not have a good excuse, i dont think they will layan you.

5) Can go out or go home every weekend?

The answer is yes. KTSN is not that strict about these things. As long as you don't break curfew, which is midnight, then you can go anywhere you pleased. But getting public transport from the hostel, KTSN is very difficult. We always go out after classes back in the faculty, which is easier. Nearby the hostel is Taman Tasik Titiwangsa where I used to go jogging with friends as well.

But there is no nearby food outside the hostel, except McDonalds which is really far. Can walk-lah but still quite far. I walked, like twice before only. There are more food outside the faculty though, especially in Chow Kit and opposite HKL. I always frequented the Chinese food stalls there. I am sure the Chinese seniors will bring the juniors there.

6) How is the bathrooms?

Well, there is a common bathroom and toilets on every floor, but half of the showers are not working. Things get pretty hectic esp after classes, coz there will be lots of people waiting to bathe (hate waiting). The bathrooms are pretty clean except during weekends, coz that is when the cleaners don't come.

The worse mess I have seen in the bathroom was when a cat came and shit in there. OMG, so freakin' stinky. Yeah, cats are of abundance in the hostel. Dunno who the damn owners are.

7) Any dobi?

Nope, but there are washing-machines. None in my block but there is one in Block G and H. I know there is a dobi opposite our faculty in Chow Kit but no one goes there to do their laundry. I dunno why.

8) Any internet connection?

Well, there is a cyber cafe in the hostel but seriously, the computers there are pretty corrupted with viruses and really slow. Printing is also available but kinda expensive.

Yes, there is wifi in KTSN but really, the signal is always so damn low in the rooms. Most people get stronger signals downstairs, near the cafe.

Also, I heard some people are not able to use the wifi line, maybe if it is Windows Vista.

But all laptops must first be registered at the Pusat Komputer UKM in the faculty.

9) About PTPTN.

I take the loan too and it is a total nightmare. I heard they have changed the system since but when I did mine, it was hell. I waited for hours before it was my turn to process the application.

UKM will tell you what to do and inform you when the officer is coming. But all the application details have to be done yourself. Seriously, so damn strict. I think mine got rejected three times. So just listen carefully to the instructions.

Anyways, if you are a Pharmacy, Medicine or Dental student, you get JPA scholarship automatically.

So that is all I have so far. Will update more tomorrow =)

Extra tips: If you are Chinese, make sure you speak good Mandarin. Chinese seniors will approach you in the first week of classes to get to know you better. STPM students always have a hard time. I know. Most of my friends are STPM. But somehow you will be too busy studying to realize it.

here in my second home (worrywart)

Many of you know Kenny Sia, but do you know who is Benny Sia?

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This is such a short update that I don't even know why I bother. Haih...

~24/06/08~

My coursemate from Penang, Tze Im, dropped by KL with her younger bro on Monday so they stayed overnight at my place before leaving the next day. And no, they are not here for recreational purposes.

I hope I was a good hostess though. I can sincerely say that my house is a really boring place (or I am a really boring person?). Every night, I either watched TV (which is most of the time), read a book or just go surf the net.

Still, I am glad Tze Im and her bro came. At least there was something to keep me occupied in what are the remaining of my sabbatical holidays.

Can you feel my depressed mode emanating here? So not ready (or don't ever want to be ready) to return to the shenanigans of uni life.

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In other delectable news, I finally watched "Kungfu Panda"! Featuring the voices of Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie and other miscellanous stars who had no impression on me as they only spoke a few lines despite their fame. (Yes, Jackie Chan voices the nondescript Monkey).

So what do I think of the movie? Let's start with the best parts first:

1. The animation was certainly out-of-the-world, in a grrreeeaaaatttt way. I mean, seriously, those fur/hair on the panda and raccoon looked so freakin' real. World-class animation. Mind-blowing. Those graphic artists (or whatever profession they are called) really outdone themselves.
2. The effects were equally superb. Expect lots of kungfu moves here, some really farce and absurd but nevertheless, very entertaining. Although, I still doubt the fact that a fat (but lovable) panda who only learned kungfu in such a short period of time is able to defeat a leopard who practically defeated an army of 1000 rhinoceroes? Yes, pretty freakin' far-fetched.
3. The storyline is pretty crap. Very run-of-the-mill sort of story. Undistinguised. And in some ways, pretty incredulous. But it is an animation movie. Kids will probably love 'em anyways. So if you are looking for something different about the movie, don't count on the plot.
4. The characters are okay-lah. I personally don't like Jack Black that much. I feel like he is trying so hard to be funny that it seems pathetic sometimes. Everything funny thing he attempts, he magnifies it ten times to make it seem ridiculous, but I find it annoying. In this movie, besides the Panda and Master Shifu, all other characters seemed unimportant, like the movie can do equally well without them. The effect they had on the movie is like, next to nothing.

So, do watch the movie for the awesome effects and animation. And, yeah, there are some omnipresent moral lessons thrown inside. However, I do not think of it as comedy fanfare and I think it is a pretty forgettable movie too.

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I went again to Setapak on Monday. It seems like I am a frequent visitor there despite me not officially inhabitting the place yet.

Honestly, I admit I am a little freaked out about living off-campus next sem.

No more UKM buses. I have to take public buses.

No more one roommate. I have two roommates now.

No more cheaper accommodation fees. I have to pay an exorbitant amout of money for rent now.

No more wide space. My room is like, only half the space of what my hostel room used to be.

No more communal bathrooms. Cannot complain about that.

No more being lackadiscal about housework.

Yes, I will be lying if I say I am not the least bit scared about staying off-campus. Fortunately, the apartment is clean and spacious and I do have the best 2 roommates (I could ever asked for). But somehow, I guess, we are always afraid of the unknown. Life off-campus is not going to be as convenient as it used to be back in the hostel. And I have to learn to be tolerance and considerate of my other housemates and also, my two sometimes-annoying-sometimes-lovely roommates now.

There are still so much stuff that needs to be refurbished and I have yet to moved my belongings there, as I want to bring as minimal stuff as possible. My room is just filled with my other roommates' things and already, it seems pretty messy.

Just being speculative if I can really survive out there. But I guess, I just have to take it one step at a time. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why it is called 'present'!"

And despite myself saying all the bad sides of staying off-campus, I guess it is also equally important to concentrate on the positive aspects of it. How can I be happy if I always see the glass as half-empty right? Maybe it is time that we all learned to see the good things in life.

I watched on the TV once before about how a group of church members took on the challenge of "not complaining". A no-complains policy. If they ever feel like complaining, they just shut their mouth and not voiced it out. And the fact was, they lead a happier life because they changed their focus in life.

If they can do it, I think I can do it too. Start small, maybe?

life is so complicated

how do you know if you have crossed the boundary from being "just nice" to being a people-pleaser? isn't it still stand true - the fact that if you are nice to people, then they are nice to you? how do you know if you have turned into a doormat when you are just trying to be considerate? life is so complicating and filled with things i just simply do not understand. feels so confused now. and I am only 20 years old, yet feels like the burden of the world on me.