I feel...
...guilty...
I guess hols means a time of reflection for yours truly as well.
Yesterday I went through my friends' list on friendster to delete off some people that I do not know (yes I have lots of time and I am lame like that). As I went through some of these "friends" profiles, it occurred to me that these people used to be my classmates but I simply have no recollection of them at all.
Desiree sms-ed me yesterday. As some probably know, I lost my handphone back in February so anyone who did not keep in touch with me after that, I do not have your number. Sorry but don't blame me, blame the bloody thief. Anyways, she called me Chicken and I was wondering who in the world would call me that. Yes, Desiree and me sat together back in Form 2 and she is one of the funniest girls I have ever known. Chicken is the nickname she gave me because I used to call her Cow. Get it? Cow&Chicken, as in that stupid cartoon on Cartoon Network?
But back to the point, what I am trying to say is that all these years, I have never tried to keep in touch with anyone from my past, especially in SKTC (my primary school) and SMK Perimbun, where I studied for two years.
In fact, eventhough my time in Perimbun had been short, I had a blast there. Friends were plenty and I had never been more active than I had been during those two years. Prefect, choir, choral speaking and yet still juggling my studies. Crap, I do miss those times.
I know they say times change and people change too. I never kept in touch with them because I thought they probably moved on too. New friends, new places, new environment. I too, wonder if they even remember me. What with their new social circle of friends, will I still be able to fit in?
All these thoughts came in because she invited me to her 21st bday bash. Gosh, I have not seen these ex-classmates of mine for years. Do I really want to go?...
On another topic regarding friendster, I envy the juniors. Here they are, all so "tuan jie", taking lots of pics together and it made me reflect on my own relationships with my coursemates. Not that I hate them or I don't get along with them, it's just that I wish we could know each other a lot more, rather than always hanging out in gangs and groups and cliques.
And yet another thing I am guilty about...my results for mid-sem exams suck. Not that I did not expect it to. I am proud to have 2As but the rest yeah, kinda extreme grades. Did not fail although almost did for Pharmaco. It is time for me to "fan sing" and bertaubat already. Must stop messing around.
But some things are easier said than done. Whoever said life is a bed of roses seriously gone freakin' whack in the head.
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